Monday, March 19, 2012

Booknotes - What Was Lost

One thing that is fairly predictable about me: if I am experiencing something new, or interested in something new, I will probably be looking for a book about that experience. (Pregnancy, homeschooling, parenting...just to name a few examples).

Well, our recent miscarriage is no exception. And this, so far, is the best book I have found yet:

What Was Lost: A Christian Journey Through Miscarriage by Elise Erikson Barrett.

I'm not going to tell you that I can wholeheartedly endorse all the theology of the book (the author is a Methodist minister) but it was otherwise exactly what I needed. The following excerpts are just a few things that resonated with me:

The impulse to bargain with God comes from our own pain, not from a desire God has for you to strike a deal with the Devine.
Although we may not understand it well, embryonic life is still life lived fully in the presence of God.
God is big enough to receive your doubt, your anger, your bitterness. God does not need to be protected from real grief and emotions.
Miscarriage robs you of the excitement of getting pregnant the next time. Many women find both the process of trying to become pregnant after a miscarriage and any subsequent pregnancies to be fraught with fear and anxiety. The entire process seems tinged with grief.
It is often when everything else is stripped away that we can see and sense God's presence and care most clearly.
 Your child's life mattered, both to you and to God. It is right to find ways to mark and recognize the significance of that loss in your own journey.
If you or someone you know is struggling with a recent miscarriage (or not so recent - many women do not fully grieve their lost babies until many years later), I highly recommend this book.

The above book image is an Amazon affiliate link. Action taken with this link could result in compensation for me. Opinions are my own.


Elisabeth said...

I'm going to tell my sister about this book. She had several miscarriages before she was able to have her two youngest boys.

Amy said...

These excerpts from this book are very accurate to feelings that one has when they deal with a miscarriage. Especially the one about robbing the excitement of pregnancy afterwards...I enjoyed being pregnant as always with jayce but there was always a constant worry in the back of my mind. I was so thrilled when I finally delivered him healthy.

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