Thursday, October 14, 2010

All Mine

There's something about having four children that brings out the nosy (not to say rude) in people. I had my first "are they all hers" experience when Lili was only a week old. Ironically, it was at a family reunion.

Granted, these must have been distant relatives. As we walked to our (gasp) mini-van, preparing to make the trek back home, another relative was walking to his car. I was carrying the baby and the three older girls walked behind me, all in a row like Mrs. Mallard and her ducklings. "Are they all hers?" This relative asked his wife. She shushed him soI didn't hear the rest of the conversation.

Yes, they are all mine - Praise the Lord! Lili is only three weeks old and already we can't imagine life without her.

The next comment is a little more common but the different tones in which it is asked affect whether it is considered Rude or not. This question, of course, is, "Are you going to have any more?"

My stock answer for this is, "Not right now". I'm only 21 days postpartum. It's not the right time, not to mention Physically Impossible, for us to be having another child just yet.

Now this question could get sticky pretty quickly. How much does this person need to know about my views on birth control? General answer: not much. Should this person care whether I have more children or not? Probably not. Should I care what this person thinks? Again, probably not.
Do you know how I can tell whether someone is a true friend (whether related to me or not)?

They treat the arrival of the (gasp) fourth baby girl with as much joy and excitement as they did Baby Girl #1.

I've never quite understood treating a baby like something that is routine. Babies are not routine, they are miracles. Yes, I have a definite opinion on how many children I think might be ideal for our family and no, I'm not exactly sure what God has in store for us in the future. That's OK.

Meanwhile, they are all mine and I couldn't do without a single one.


Elisabeth said...


Karabeth Baptist Homeschool said...

I don't care whether I'm related to the person or not, I've always found such questions/comments to be e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y offensive. This was the case when we were having you and your siblings and I guess I haven't mellowed much with age because I STILL find it so! This ranks right up there with concern over the baby's gender. Don't. Get. Me. Started. (Too late!) I'll keep the rest of my rant to myself. :)

Pastor David Pitman said...

Wait... I counted six. The three oldest are each holding a baby... Did you have triplets!!!???

Some of us are easily confused...

MacKenzie said...

Cute pictures!

I still remember someone telling me that they thought it was irresponsible for a couple to have more than two (population replacement) children. This person knew I had two brothers and still expected me to agree with them! I wanted to ask them which of us my parents should have sent back.

But I see my mom looking back on her life and I know that my brothers and I are her greatest prides and joys even now. Who cares what those people think, they are silent now while we still are a strong family that loves and supports each other - just like I know you and your three girls will be.

Kelly said...

I for one am glad that they're all yours. Polly, Tigger, Sweet Pea, and probably even Lili (who I have yet to really meet!) are the kind of kids we library workers love to have in the library: smart, funny, and cute! :)

Vicky said...

Children are an heritage of the LORD! Each one is a special blessing personally sent from Him! I wish everyone believed that and there would be NO such questions or comments!

The pictures of the big sisters holding Lili are just so precious and sweet!

Anonymous said...

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Amy said...

When Alan was 10 weeks old and in the hospital for the first time, my cousin's wife visited and asked the "do you think you'll have any more" question. I didn't take it offensively, but my mom, who was with us, thought it was insensitive given the circumstances.
Seeing as how that same woman has added 1 or 2 more since then (for a total of 4) I'd say she is pro-baby and didn't mean any harm. :)

Another great post, with more beautiful pics!

Julie Munroe said...

Man, oh man. Your oldest looks JUST her mama. You have beautiful girls!

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