Saturday, June 13, 2009

A Note from the Nursery

Dear All,

I have authorized my favorite Aunt Karen to jot down this note. I'm not sure what a pencil is, or a computer for that matter, but she does and she seems competent enough for this task. She's always writing anyway, so she might as well put it to good use.

My reception here has been nearly all a fellow could want: lots of adoration, cuddling, and soft kisses on the head. I'm all for those things. However, I have a few issues with the way certain things (namely: me) are being handled:

1. I prefer to be with Mom. She's the comfiest, her voice is the prettiest and even her heartbeat sounds the best. She's always ready to help a guy out when he's hungry too, although sometimes she's not quick enough for me and she has this whole hang-up about "switching sides" which I find frustrating. I think you'll have to admit that I'm pretty easy going, but I'd like to be sure that food source will be available 24/7.

2. If, by some strange occurrence, Mom is not available (like she desperately wants a "shower" or whatever it is you call it), an Aunt will be an acceptable substitute for - and here I must stress - a short time. If an Aunt isn't available, Dad might do. Or a Grandparent. I really like that crowd. Uncles may work, if the situation is dire.

3. I really don't like it when you crazy females (Mom included) decide I need a "change". I don't want my diaper changed. And I for sure do not want my clothes changed. You seem to think it necessary several times a day and, I'm sure we can all agree, that's just excessive. I may choose to show my displeasure in ways that require more cleanup, so just keep that in mind.

4. Try to keep the light down, OK? I mean, ever since I got here it's just one light after another. I don't mind so much about noise but seriously, let's keep those lights under control and out of my eyes. Oh yeah: stop wrapping up my hands while you're at it. I want them out. Wrap the rest of me up if you must (I'm looking at Aunt Karen here: she can't hold me 5 minutes without swaddling me in something), but leave out my hands.

5. I prefer to sleep on or with Mom. (see point #1 above) Once again, if Mom is unavailable one of the aforementioned people may substitute, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES is anyone to put me down in that prison you call my "bed". Terrible things happen there. Things like: people putting me down and walking a short distance away. Just don't do it and we'll all be happier. And don't be fooled by the fact that I slept there for a little while today. That was a fluke. Don't expect it to happen on a regular basis or anything.

Closer adherence to these little items is all I'm asking. Keep all the rest of the stuff you're doing coming folks!

Yours sincerely,
(Which isn't my real name, by the way, but I'll humor the women folk on this point. I'm dreaming up a few more names for when I get bigger. Something along the lines of "The Handful Who Gets Into All My Cousins' Stuff", but you know, catchier.)


Karabeth said...

My, he's been with us such a short time but you already know him well. :)

He really was a happy camper napping on my chest yesterday morning (as per his uncle, the Bear).

Good times.

Karen@Candid Diversions said...

Yeah, after one of the long stretches of sleep last night (we had 2!) I woke up with him snuggled on my chest and I had to remember where I was and who exactly I was holding -flashbacks galore! All my girls preferred to sleep that way too. Which has always been fine by me. :)

Vicky said...

AWWW! Sounds like he has everyone wrapped already! CONGRATS to all!

Allyson said...

I love this post! Little Fennec sounds like an awesome guy already!

Anonymous said...

This has to be one of my favorite posts by far!!! Sounds like you all are enjoying the arrival of this liitle fellow!! God's blessings to you all!!

Anonymous said...

Oops!! Forgot to sign my name!! This previous message comes from me! Kathi Hamby

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